Fiona C.

Share a Bit About Yourself
An invitation to write about myself to people who are going on a psychedelic retreat? Who might actually be somewhere on my bandwidth? Oh, sweet power to my pen. If only I could do this before every social interaction; a written disclaimer that alleviates me of the need to wither on the altar of small talk.

All you need to know.
Single, two twenty-something children. Retired-ish (how am I that age?). Did life the way I was raised (misfit/rebel) and it didn’t always go well (subjectively). Live in a small conservative town (famous for bricks). blah, blah, blah.

My life, and my friends (the best), on the whole conform to societal and conversational norms, but I yearn for conversations that challenge and explore; non-duality, psychedelics, magic, and mayhem. Conversation where minds meet and go beyond. I hope (with my soul) that some/all of you lovely lot are tuned in to the same station and we can go deep. Very, very deep. Until we get to the place where we don't need any more words.

How would you like people to call you (any nicknames/shortening of your name)? Fi. Fred. Any F will do.

Preferred pronouns
She/Her

What kind of work have you done/do you do?
It's been varied. I throw myself into whatever I do until I don't, and then I move on. I found myself running a foodbank during the pandemic which led to founding and now running a local charity. However I'm starting to get restless, so change may be afoot.

What kind of things do you enjoy doing in your spare time?
Write; putting words on paper make my soul sing. Create; art, material, wood. Heal; troubled souls, our precious world. However, all need to have a reason. And I've not truly felt that in a long while. Somewhere in the muddle of menopause, troubled children and fighting life’s battles, my life became Groundhog Day. But there is hope. I find reason foraging for libs on a Welsh mountainside, in knowing how psychedelics can heal. I hope this retreat shows me the path to rekindling my fire.

What, if any, psychedelic experience do you have?
In my teens I had the opportunity to try psychedelics, but was afraid I'd have a bad trip. When I hit 60 it was the only thing I put on my bucket list. I handed my wish over to the mushroom Gods and 3 years later the universe delivered my first trip. It was with my daughter. She, at the age of 17, derailed and became addicted to Xanax. Five years later she was clean, but had very poor mental health, and our relationship was severely damaged. . I took her mushroom foraging and we started healing on a Welsh mountainside. She microdoses and has turned her life around. I macrodose every few months. I now see the world, and myself, very differently, and could not be closer to my daughter. In the last few months I've had 2 MDMA trips. Wow. Just wow.

What else would be helpful for people to know about you?
I am a normal pick'n'mix human. There's the not so tasty, but the best bits are: I am grounded, curious about people, listen well and will be your biggest cheerleader.

What animal, if any, do you feel most connected to/do you feel best represents you?
My cat. Wounded, shy, but knows her own mind. She refuses to be carried or held, but will melt when stroked as long as she has an escape route in sight..

What’s your earliest memory?
Believing I could fly down the stairs. Turns out I couldn't.

Tell us about something you love
My children. With all my heart. And chocolate.

Tell us about something which you find difficult
I am someone who finds it much easier to express myself using the written word. Here I can speak my truth. I can be brave. I can pause, parse, delete, search my mind for the most apt phrase, the perfect word that lifts a sentence from mundane to sublime. I can know that everything I say conveys my honest intent, and is not moulded to social mores. Here I do not stumble, or repeat, or regret, then retreat in fear of being too much or too little, too fierce, or too frail. I do not interrupt, nor ask too many questions to avoid revealing how little substance I have. I do not try too hard, or internally fold over that thing that I just said. All that changes once I trust the people I am with. Then the words that flow here can be spoken.